Attraction Information

How to Take Control of Your Self Confidence


If you think success, happiness and love are going to happen without learning through mistakes along the way you are mistaken.

Our brains are wired to learn from our own experiences as well as those of others. Without experience how are you going to learn anything?

Let me give you an example. At my local bank a number of weeks ago I attempted to make small talk with the cashier and she completely ignored me.

Last week I was in the bank and tried my small talk routine again, and again I failed. She ignored me again!

There are a number of ways to view this situation:

1 My communication strategy is not working
2 I need to change my approach
3 I will learn from this experience and become better

A number of years ago I would have given this situation a different analysis:

1 She is rude and ignorant. She thinks I am a moron
2 I feel crushed by this blatant rejection
3 My confidence depends on this person liking me

Notice the difference. My old outlook sets me up for pain and frustration and puts the ball in the court of the other person. My confidence depends on how the other person responds.

My new outlook puts me in control. I created the results I am getting, I can choose to change my approach and I can decide to learn and grow from every experience.

A second point worth mentioning is that of wanting something from someone versus giving.

When you approach dealing with other people as getting something from them you will always have confidence issues instead view conversations as giving and you are back in control.

With the bank cashier if I want to get something from her I focus on wanting her to accept me and this neediness will be picked up by her. She is unlikely to respond positively to this.

If instead I give what I want then I will decide to accept her. And she will receive my acceptance and likely reflect it back to me.

My confidence then is based on giving - something I am in charge of not someone else.

Now it is time for you to take this information and put it into action.

Think of a situation where you are typically not as confident as you would like to be.

If the reason is due to a lack of knowledge or ability then work on that first. If you do have the necessary skills then decide to take action and learn step by step from every experience.

Start with a small challenge and gradually step up to bigger ones.

Remember to use this outlook:

1 What is working and what is not working?
2 Change your approach until you get the results you want
3 Decide to learn from every experience

Your confidence is under your control and is not controlled by someone else!

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because it is available for a limited time only at: http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm


MORE RESOURCES:

ABC News

John McCain keeps star attraction Sarah Palin quiet
Telegraph.co.uk, United Kingdom - 9 hours ago
Sarah Palin is drawing such huge crowds that she is being kept out on the campaign trail by John McCain even as he shields her from the press by allowing ...
Video: AP Campaign Minute AssociatedPress
all 2,362 news articles


Philadelphia museum seeks chemical attraction
MSNBC - 10 hours ago
Matt Rourke / AP By Joann Loviglio PHILADELPHIA - For anyone whose last foray into chemistry was being forced to memorize the periodic table of elements in ...


Attraction of lower taxes draws Krom to Switzerland
Financial Times, UK - 10 hours ago
By James Mackintosh in London An $810m London hedge fund has moved to Switzerland to cut its tax bill and improve the lifestyle of its partners – and ...


Concordia Park; a popular area attraction.
Tri Valley Herald, CA - 13 hours ago
A group of kids hang out at Concordia Park in Oakland, Calif., on Saturday Sep, 6, 2008. (Ray Chavez/The Oakland Tribune) OAKLAND — Dope-dealing, ...


BBC News

New tourist 'attraction'
Straits Times, Singapore - 23 hours ago
BANGKOK - THOUGH some tourists have opted not to visit Thailand amid a state of emergency and anti-government protests, the demonstrators' campground has ...
Video: Locking horns over politics in Thailand -- 05 September 2008 AlJazeeraEnglish
An emergency in Thailand Economist
all 4,323 news articles


How to Find the Right Law of Attraction Teacher
Corsavoo.com, France - 19 minutes ago
All teachers of the Law of Attraction do agree on the basics of this Law. Whatever vibration you emit will attract back to you, in some form, ...


Politics, Elections and The Law of Attraction
American Chronicle, CA - 5 hours ago
Politics and the Law of Attraction definitely mix. When people think of the Law of Attraction (LOA) they tend to focus upon money, health, relationships, ...


The Main Attraction: Rays-Red Sox Showdown
Tampa Tribune, FL - 19 minutes ago
The most significant road trip in Rays franchise history continues in Boston, where the Rays have yet to beat the defending World Series champions this ...


Law of Attraction – Is It A Scam That Church Doesn't Approve?
Corsavoo.com, France - 9 hours ago
The Law of Attraction is one of those immutable laws, which has existed long before man put thought onto the walls of caves. ...


How Thought Spiritually Manifests Through Life - Law of Attraction ...
Corsavoo.com, France - 30 minutes ago
This gives us the inner guiding which we call intuition. 'Intuition is to the spiritual nature and understanding practically what sense perception is to the ...

Attraction - Google News

home | site map
© 2006