| |
| |
|
Attraction Information |
|
|
|
Be The Chooser
"We choose our joys and sorrows long before we experience them." -- Khalil Gibran Our life works and can be full of joy when we make effective choices. Our life can be full of sorrow if we make ineffective choices. Chooser vs. Victim As a child, choices were made for me and I had little power over what happened to me. This is normal for children, but when we take this attitude as adults I call it being a "victim" The opposite of being a victim is to be "The Chooser" The concept of choice is remarkable, and that we have choices I consider to be a fact. Though in my life, I've forgotten this fact many times when I was impulsive or reactive. I find it challenging to take responsibility for my failures and pain as being the result of my own choices. I want to blame myboss, my ex-wife, the other driver, my parents; and for awhile I did. I've had many wake-up calls that acting out of ignorance or impulse doesn't absolve me of responsibility for making a bad choice. When I was sixteen, a new driver, and got a ticket for making a U-turn across a double-yellow line I told the cop honestly that I didn't know it was against the law, and felt it grossly unfair that he ticketed me anyway. I fought the ticket in traffic court and lost. My only defense was "I didn't know! I didn't mean to break the law!" The judge told me ignorance was not an excuse for breaking the law. That was one of my first wake-up calls that as an adult, I would be held accountable for my choices even if they were unconscious. Scary thought. We live in a victim culture. It's usually the other guy's fault that we go to war, get into a car accident, lose our money in stocks, get a divorce. While victim-hood might make us feel better and in the right, it also makes us helpless and perpetuates our problems. The Law of Attraction What do you want? A fulfilling life and relationship? A loving family? Success in your work? Peace in the world? I've learned that to get what you want you must BE THE CHOOSER. Being the chooser means taking the initiative to create what you want, taking full responsibility for your outcomes, and making your choices mindful of their long-term consequences. There is a law of the universe as powerful as the law of gravity that helps choosers and brings suffering on victims. It's called the "Law of Attraction." Just like "what goes up must come down;" "what is inside shows up on the outside," "energy follows attention," and "what you believe you can achieve." If you believe you don't have a choice, you won't. If you shove responsibility for your choices and outcomes outside of yourself, the law of attraction will try to teach you to take responsibility by repeating the lesson over and over until you get it. This is the origin of crime, war, and most other sources of human suffering. I want to be happy and fulfilled. I want you to be happy and fulfilled. I've learned that happiness comes from within, by taking responsibility as an adult for my choices and outcomes. I've learned that I need to be "The Chooser" in my life and my heartfelt desire is that I can inspire you to be The Chooser as well. Be The Chooser We have the knowledge and technology to create a wonderful life for ourselves and society for our children. Most of our social problems, such as crime, war, poverty, violence, disease, divorce, homelessness, and more, is the result of ineffective choices. Unfortunately, these social problems will continue as long as people believe they don't have a choice about them. Choosers know what they want and how to get it. In charge of their lives, Choosers take responsibility for what happens. Being a Chooser takes a certain amount of confidence and effort, but anyone can be one! Being The Chooser means taking initiative for your outcomes: you are in charge of creating what you want in life. You do not restrict yourself to what or who chooses you. Very often, we are not aware of the range of choices available to us. We are often unaware of our power to choose, and of the true power of our choices. We might make choices unconsciously, reactively or impulsively. We might be unaware of the long-term consequences of our choices. A.I.M. To Be The Chooser Step 1: Be AWARE that you have choices You are never stuck! You always have choices, even if you don't know what your choices are. Don't allow impulse or lack of information to result in a poor choice. Step 2: IDENTIFY your choices Always assume there are more choices than you are aware of. Seek to identify a variety of the choices available to you, mindful that "you don't know what you don't know." Identify productive choices and don't settle for unproductive choices. Step 3: MAKE productive choices Use all the information available to you to make the best choice possible to achieve the outcome you desire. Evaluate a choice based upon the likely long-term consequences of that choice. If you want to be the Chooser, here are some things you have control over and can DO: - BE CREATIVE: Seek new ideas and opportunities beyond the immediate past and present - BE A RISK TAKER: Accept rejection and failure as part of life, and don't take it personally - BE ASSERTIVE: Ask for what you want, and say "no" to what you don't want - BE PROACTIVE: Don't merely react to events, or habitually wait for things to happen - BE GOAL-ORIENTED: Clearly define and vigorously pursue your goals - ASSUME ABUNDANCE: Believe there will always be plenty of opportunities and resources - BE POSITIVE: Always anticipate success "Your life is the sum result of all the choices you make, both consciously and unconsciously. If you can control the process of choosing, you can take control of all aspects of your life. You can find the freedom that comes from being in charge of yourself." -- Senator Robert F. Bennett (R-Utah) ©2005 by Relationship Coaching Network / All rights reserved http://www.relationshipcoachingnetwork.org David Steele, MA, LMFT is Founder and CEO of Relationship Coaching Institute, and author of the upcoming book "Conscious Dating: Finding the Love of Your Life in Today's World" to be published October 2005, from which this article is excerpted. For more information visit http://www.ConsciousDating.com
MORE RESOURCES:
Attraction - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
How To Invite Positive Change In Your Life Gnothi seauton,, said Socrates. "Know thyself. Improve Your Conversations By Watching Talk Show Hosts If you want to learn how to be a good conversationalist, a really useful place to start is by watching television!Not just any television mind you - you can learn a lot about how to have successful conversations by watching talk show hosts!One of the most important qualities exhibited by good talk show hosts on television that you can easily incorporate into your own conversations is the way they really pay attention to the person they are talking with.The most successful talk show hosts demonstrate great curiosity in hearing what the person they are interviewing has to say. Your #1 Path to Hidden Power Imagine that you could boost your confidence, courage, and compassion by 100% in the next three months. Imagine that you could learn five new skills you've been dying to learn all your life. What is the Universal Law of Attraction? Most of the time, we attract by 'default' rather than by deliberate choice. We just sort of go through our day, focusing on problems that need to be solved or on things that did not feel good nor seem right. Law of Attraction and Dreams, Premonitions or Predictions Recently, I received an interesting email in which a woman told me that when she was 10 years old, she was shown in a dream how one day she would have a son and he would die at a certain age in a specific fashion. She also reported that this did, in fact, occur. What Do You Do? When I go out and talk to business people, I hear them talking about all the things they do from day to day. They talk about the problems they have and their frustrations with a whole variety of things they do. Whose Life Is It Anyway? Whose life are you living? Are you living your dream or someone else's? How much of your life is being decided by someone else? Are you in a profession you dislike because it is expected of you? Do you engage in activities you would rather skip, simply because it is part of your "role" as a spouse or mother?What about you? Doesn't your opinion count? It is not only reasonable but mentally healthy for you to direct your own life.If you find yourself in a profession you do not especially like, try asking yourself the following question: If I were starting over in my career, what would I chose to do?Some people retire and, because they can do whatever they want, begin a second career. I'll Believe It When I See It I was working with this guy who wanted to live his life's purpose. He wanted to be a singer but was presently working as a mail clerk at a law firm. Finding Your Passion Where does our motivation come from? What makes us want to strive for more?It comes from our PASSION, and with out it what are we left with? We are left with our lives in a seemingly endless spin of unhappiness. When we no longer have passion in our lives we no longer want to strive to make our lives thrive. What is the Key to a Successful Life? An ideal is not the dream that can never be realised, that certain weak-willed individuals like to imagine, if only to provide themselves with an excuse for moaning about life. Nor is it a vague and flimsy speculation in which shallow people want to indulge. Five Ways to Sharpen Your Sense of Humor and Improve Your Relationships Humor has long been considered one of the most effective tools to judge the quality of any relationship. If there is laughter present you can be sure the relationship is a healthy one. Bigger Fish To Fry Last month I was on another adventure, fishing Dog Lake in Northern Ontario. That trip really brought home to me the power of the Law of Attraction. Dreams When I was a kid sitting in school I can remember looking out the window daydreaming of mountains, and skiing. These were just a few things I dreamed of doing. Harvest Moon Lessons The full moon in September is often bigger and brighter than full moons in other months. It is usually referred to as the Harvest Moon. Living a Values-Based Life What is a values-based life? A values-based life is a self-capable life free of doubt or fear; a life that allows you to take risks, fulfill dreams, capture goals and live to your fullest capacity. Sound wonderful? It certainly is. What You Sow You Reap! Go into the fields and country lanes in the spring-time, and you will see farmers and gardeners busy sowing seeds in the newly prepared soil. If you were to ask any one of those gardeners or farmers what kind of produce he expected from the seed he was sowing, he would doubtless regard you as foolish, and would tell you that he does not "expect" at all, that it is a matter of common knowledge that his produce will be of the kind which he is sowing, and that he is sowing wheat, or barley, or turnips, as the case may be, in order to reproduce that particular kind. Abundance is a Feeling This question and answer interview was done by Kathy Smith, one of Michael's loyal Virtual Assistants. Visit her website. Buying the Myth So much life conditioning inhibits the brilliance that is in you. Are you accessing all that is available to you? As a brilliant coach, as a brilliant human-being, as a brilliant spiritual being, as a bright light in the world, you have access to so much abundance. Dealing with Mr.Charisma Do you ever find yourself in situations where you feel overwhelmed by the person who is speaking to you. It is as if their charisma and enthusiasm takes over and you just cannot seem to think for yourself. The Mind - What An Amazing Universe You are what you think;The experts say we barely use 10% of our minds. I wouldn't be so sure about that or very proud of it either.
|
| home | site map |
| © 2006 |
