Coaching Information

Learn to Say No!


How many times have you agreed to do something that you actually didn't want to do? For someone at work? Your friends? Even your spouse? All you had to do was say no, but the word didn't come out. So you end up doing it?and later resent it.

A coaching client said to me she was agreeing to things she didn't want to do, but for some reason, she felt obliged to do them. Instead of taking enjoyment in the task, she would later feel angry with herself and resentful towards the person she had said 'yes' to.

So then she went on to list further reasons why she wanted to say no. I stopped her by saying, "You are even justifying yourself to me!" We feel we have to justify ourselves and give extremely good reasons for saying no. Even when the reason is simply: "I don't want to."

Check-in With Yourself.

I asked my client what was one thing she could do to work on this. She suggested she start checking in with herself before saying yes or no. You can ask yourself, "Is this right for me?" Support yourself in doing what feels right and well with you. And if it's not something for you, try expressing that no.

Have Fun With It!

Saying no doesn't have to be serious or angry. My client also wanted to lighten up, so I recommended she try stirring it up a little, to have fun with it. You can try out different responses like, "Nope, never as long as I live" or "Baby sit your kids - are you crazy?" What are some other great responses you can try to make 'saying no' more fun?

Make a List.

I suggested my client list the areas and people in her life where she had the most trouble saying no. I told her it was up to her what to do with that list. Where do you have trouble saying no? Is it perhaps time to have some honest conversations with people?

Try this: "This is what I have been doing. I have been saying yes, when I have wanted to say no. I am starting to feel resentful and I don't want to feel that way. I don't want to offend you, and I need to start listening to myself." At the very least, they will have a heads-up that things might be a little different from now one. And - it helps you make an internal shift.

Taking the Plunge.

So what is the worst that could happen by saying no? You might lose some people in your life who are used to you doing what they want. Living an authentic life can seem tough. Sometimes there will be unwelcome consequences.

And I say: Bring on the consequences! In the end, it's worth it.

David Wood is a personal and business coach, and an original founder of the International Coach Academy - a global coach training school.

Looking to become a life coach? Get your free copy of '50 Power Questions' to use with your life coaching clients, and to take charge of your own life. Download here: http://www.solutionbox.com/freedownload.htm

And find out how these ordinary life coaches are making $30,000 to $1.4 million per year! Finally they share their secrets: http://www.10SuperCoaches.com


MORE RESOURCES:

Washington Informer

Ex-Seahawk Jim Zorn's approach helps him stand out in coaching role
Seattle Times, United States - 18 hours ago
By Danny O'Neil PAUL SANCYA / AP Jim Zorn was the starting quarterback in the Seahawks' first season and returned as quarterbacks coach in 2001. ...
Zorn thinks Holmgren will return to football The Associated Press
Zorn, again: Former assistant returns with Redskins Seattle Post Intelligencer
Jim Zorn's Alternate Career Plan, and Hair Washington Post Blogs
Washington Times
all 299 news articles


Shock re-sign Laimbeer to 2-year coaching deal
The Associated Press - 5 hours ago
(AP) — Coach Bill Laimbeer has been re-signed to a two-year contract by the WNBA champion Detroit Shock. The team is not releasing terms of the deal ...


Little news on the coaching search
Seattle Post Intelligencer - 2 hours ago
Notre Dame offensive coordinator Mike Haywood is in town interviewing with athletic director Scott Woodward for the head coaching job, as I explained in my ...
Report: Houstonian Haywood interviews with Washington Houston Chronicle
Huskies interview ND's Haywood South Bend Tribune (subscription)
all 5 news articles


News 8 Austin

Muschamp’s withdrawal from coaching search may be good for Clemson
RealFootball365.com, AZ - 20 hours ago
This effectively took him out of the head coaching prospect pool for not only Clemson but Tennessee and other schools that may have had him on their hit ...
Byrne should look to Longhorns for coaching advice Texas A&M The Battalion
Where there's a Will Austin American-Statesman
Picking successor eases transition for college programs Houston Chronicle
Bleacher Report - Clemson Tigers Insider
all 372 news articles


Bleacher Report

ND's Ianello interested in a head coaching job
Chicago Tribune, United States - Nov 18, 2008
AP SOUTH BEND, Ind. - Notre Dame wide receivers coach Rob Ianello, whose name has been mentioned in media reports as a possible candidate for the Syracuse ...
Video: Ianello Addresses Coaching Rumors Blue and Gold Illustrated (registration)
Orange remain on an even keel SportingNews.com
Looking For Transportation Fighting Irish Insider
South Bend Tribune (subscription) - Blue and Gold Illustrated (registration)
all 92 news articles


Humbled Tice hungry for another head coaching job
The Columbian, WA - 1 hour ago
AP It remains to be seen whether Jacksonville's tight ends coach will get a second shot in the NFL, but the former Minnesota Vikings coach said all the ...


Vanderbilt’s Johnson sees coaching stock soar
My Tennessean.com, TN - 1 hour ago
“Understand what he’s done at Vanderbilt and put it in context with every other coach that’s ever been at Vanderbilt, especially in so-called modern times. ...
Return of Vanderbilt receivers could limit Moore’s touches on offense My Tennessean.com
all 2 news articles


NCAA Cross Country: Arkansas' Lance Harter Earns Coaching Award
ArkansasSports360.com, AR - 2 hours ago
by UA Sports Information FAYETTEVILLE — Arkansas Razorback women's cross country head coach Lance Harter has been named the South Central Regional Coach of ...


Boston Globe (registration)

Melrose blames Lightning players for his coaching demise
SportingNews.com - Nov 18, 2008
Barry Melrose, who was fired as coach of the Tampa Bay Lightning last Friday, resurfaced a day later and said in an interview on Hockey Night in Canada that ...
NHL Betting: The Week's Biggest Stories Doc's Sports Service
Have a question for the Lightning's Rick Tocchet? Tampa Bay's 10
Tampa Bay's new head coach Rick Tocchet to install high-tempo game The Canadian Press
ESPN - Bleacher Report
all 863 news articles


Financial Post

From Canada: Nothing to Fear
New York Times, United States - 5 hours ago
So when he landed his first head coaching job in Montreal last December, a reporter asked Trestman if he was nervous. “Not one fear,” said Trestman, ...
Ireland headlines officiating crew for 2008 Grey Cup game The Canadian Press
CFL coaching rivals are two of a kind Toronto Star
Coaches' careers bounce toward common goal Globe and Mail
The Gazette (Montreal) - Metro Canada - Halifax
all 354 news articles

Coaching - Google News

home | site map
© 2006