| |
| |
|
Coaching Information |
|
|
|
Listening Skills In Relationships
Recently, when out to dinner with another couple, my husband is surprised at what someone says about one of our neighbors. He even comments this to the person about his amazement. Less than one week later, my husband comments to me he wonders about this very situation. After asking him, "Well don't you remember Sean told you that?" "No. I must have been in a conversation with someone else then." I just torque my jaws and change the subject because I just don't want to have this conversation about listening again. Whether it's with you or friends, it's annoying and rude when your husband communicates he's not listening. "I don't really care," is the message. Listening is different as hearing. We're born with the ears to hear. But listening takes energy, time and practice. There are actions to demonstrate your ability to listen, show you care and reduce stress in the process. First, give your full attention to your spouse. When my husband was speaking with Sean, he was also carrying on a conversation with someone else. There humanly is no way that you can give your full attention when you are dividing it between two people! Ask clarifying questions before you do your talking. If you want to understand your wife's concerns, respond to a problem or add to the conversation, ask a question ('So what you are saying is ... .') Then keep quiet while you listen to their reply. Then you are sure to be on track. Listen first to understand, then to respond. And anticipate keywords. With experience you learn how some comments are familiar. How you have discussed this previously? When you hear keywords about these everyday situations or previous discussions, use them to help you add to the conversation when the time comes. This is sometimes called leveraging your knowledge. Listen for feelings first and specifics second. Check your understanding of your wife's emotions from her point of view ("It must be frustrating to not get what you think you were getting.") If that perception check is correct ("Yes I am just fit to be tied,") continue with specific facts of the conversation. This type of verbal feedback, particularly on the telephone, can clarify a concern without you saying something there is no need to say. Identify what bad listening habits you have and begin to minimize and improve them. The top five worst listening habits most of us have are: reacting emotionally, listening only for the facts, getting distracted, faking attention and being critical of the speaker's delivery. Found yours? Know it and do something to improve it. Let's say you find yourself getting distracted by listening in a second conversation when you are out with your wife and a group of friends. You can wear a rubber band around your wrist for 30 days. And every time that undesirable habit pops into your conversation with you wife, or anyone for that matter, snap that rubber band back. Day after day you'll be snapping less because you will be replacing your bad habit with something that is effective. A famous philosopher once said, "We only hear half of what is said to us,
understand only half of that, and remember only half of that." You can reduce
misunderstandings and show your spouse you do care when you move beyond
hearing to listening.
Pat Weber is a coach, certified telelcass leader, and corporate trainer. With her incisive, effective communication skills, her services can help you to accelerate professional and personal results you want, by helping you increase your choices and build your self-confidence. With personal coaching, a teleclass, an online email course or on-site workshop, get what you want, more easily and more often. Visit her website at http://www.prostrategies.com.
MORE RESOURCES:
Coaching - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
You Are Never Trapped! "The meaning of life is that it stops." -Franz Kafka (1883-1924)A good friend of mine graduated from Boston University Law School. The Amazing Secret To Ridding Yourself Of Self Consciousness One of the biggest challenges to developing superior communication skills is that you already have your hands full in those situations where you need help. Take a typical scenario - meeting new people. Coaching Can Help Teachers At A Crossroads In Their Careers Teachers enter the profession with the desire to help others, but after years in the field it can lose its luster. If it's no longer offering satisfaction the way it once did find out how you can get the joy back. What Is Executive Presence? Often our clients refer someone to us for Executive Coaching with a glowing description such as "This is one of our most valued and brilliant employees ?. But ?. Successful Implementation of Company Wide Coaching Programmes Ten years ago I was fortunate enough to be heavily involved in the implementation of a company wide coaching programme, both as an employee who was to receive coaching but also as a manager and coach who was expected to regular coach my reports and my peers to enable them to achieve their objectives. I say, fortunate enough, because I found that when I was coached effectively I became really motivated and focused, and when I finally became a proficient coach, I again found it motivational in that I was able to support and enable my direct reports to achieve more. Do You Trust Your Mentor(s)? It is better to suffer wrong than to do it, and happier to be sometimes cheated than not to trust." - Samuel JohnsonI was on a tele-seminar recently with International Health Coach Jeremy Likness and he asked a very interesting question about Trust. Run to Win I was never much of an athlete growing up. Notoriously clumsy, I was ostracized by our school volleyball and basketball teams. The Harvest: Shared Power The fall harvest comes upon us once a year. The farmers collect the sometimes-scant rewards of their heroic efforts begun months before. Mentors and Coaches: How to Find a Great Mentor A career coach or mentor is a person who can guide you with the benefit of their experience. He or she may be someone more senior from within your organisation or someone external to your organisation who has been successful in the field or skills you want to develop. How To Overcome Stuck States In Personal Growth Although many of us use self-help tools like affirmations, visualizations, NLP techniques, and spiritual invocations, we sometimes find that nothing happens. This, to say the least, is disheartening. Personal Development Profiles Personal development profiles, also known as personality profiles, are a tool I frequently use before starting a course of coaching with a client. The client answers a series of questions about preferred behaviour styles and their responses generate a report which outlines their strengths, areas for improvement, blind spots, their contribution to the team, ways they could improve their communication and how to deal with challenging people. Do You Want to Impress Others? Then Don't Talk ?Listen Recently my friend Michelle was concerned about a professional conference she was planning to attend with her husband, a veterinarian. She has no background in veterinary science, so she did not think she would be able to effectively communicate with the people at the conference. Relaxation Couldnt Be Simpler Many people use their sofa and TV to help them 'switch off and relax'. In reality, television programs can suspend you n stress for yours, with depressing or thrilling storylines, violence and madness!True relaxation is achieved when all tensions and thoughts are eliminated. Nourishing Your Network It takes less effort to keep an existing customer than to gain a new customer.This is Business 101. Your Personal Treasure Chest Sometimes it is helpful to review several of the basic components of THE ENCHANTED SELF. That's what I've decided to do this time. Parts that Make the Whole? or Not There are many parts that make up you.There's the Musical You, the Friendly You, the Amazing You, the Genius You, the Calm You, the Peaceful You, and many more parts that make up who you are - much like an identity check list:All round good guy/gal part - check Uniquely amazing you part - check Witty and intelligent part - check Lovable and charming part - check Moody and indecisive part - who me??? Never? Selfish and greedy part - not me! Never? Self opinionated - Nope, not me! Never?We all have wonderful attributes; we also have parts not so wonderful which we'd rather keep hidden but really, it's okay to acknowledge we have both. Leadership Coaching - Easier Said Than done Recently at a Pharmaceutical meeting in Europe, one of the presenters shared the results of a recent study that demonstrated that Managers who were trained in Eight Step Coaching Skills were out selling DM's who were not trained in the program. This quantitative data seems to support that the cornerstone of success lies in effective leadership coaching and diagnosing the needs of the Representatives. How To Increase Your Coaching Record By At Least 25% "How can I become a better and more effective coach?" We hear this question frequently and there's obviously more than one answer. Today, let's explore one aspect of better coaching. Why Things Are The Way They Are Things are the way you think they are, because you think they are that way. An interesting statement I know, but let's break it down a bit if you will, and see what this Really means. Listening Skills In Relationships Recently, when out to dinner with another couple, my husband is surprised at what someone says about one of our neighbors. He even comments this to the person about his amazement.
|
| home | site map |
| © 2006 |
