Dating Information

No More Desperation Dating


When you think about what you find attractive in a person, what comes to mind? Tall, dark and handsome? Blonde and curvaceous?

How about happy and fulfilled with an exciting life?

I don't know about you, but I would pick the happy, exciting life every time. While physical chemistry is important, I know quite a number of people who would not win a beauty pageant, but are so filled with life and energy that they draw the attention of everyone when they enter a room. They may not be the easiest on the eye, but they certainly are the ones I want to talk to and spend time with.

***Looking Ahead***

As we get ready for the search for our future partners, an easy aspect to overlook is our attitude towards our own lives. Each time I have found myself single, adjusting myself to the possible reality that I might be that way the rest of my life has seemed imperative. A part of that adjustment has always included building a happy and interesting life for myself.

How you feel about your life now as a single person and the possibility that you might stay single, affects what you portray to others. If you hate your life, think that being married or partnered is the only valued way to live, and look towards a future as a single as depressing, sad, or bleak, believe me, that shows. And it is very unattractive.

As well, that sort of mind set leads to desperation and neediness, which will really cloud your judgment when it comes to sorting through mate possibilities. How will you be able to freely decide if someone is right for you if you feel impelled to launch yourself towards the first person who shows a bit of interest?

Staying centered and clear-headed is going to be vital to your future, and feeling miserable about your current life and prospects will really cloud your judgment.

***Three Action Steps***

1. Start thinking about improving your life as a single and your attitude towards it right now. What are you proud of, and what do you need to improve upon, to feel better about your life and the future?

2. If you knew, right now, that you were going to spend the rest of your life as a single, what would you need to do so that you would have as interesting and vital a life by yourself as you imagine life with a partner would be?

3. While important to place priority on finding a mate, how can you move it to the side, and make your own life and its vitalness central?

Though sounding contradictory, happiness with your life as it is now, and at the same time, making yourself ready to change it by finding a mate, actually provides needed balance. Your satisfaction with what you have will be exciting and attractive to others. You will not come across as needy, a real turn off.

***Want or Need?***

Want and need are two very different things. *Want* implies desire, but something that you could do without. *Need* has a desperate edge. Because you are looking, you will be signaling that you *want* a relationship and are willing to make space and change for that in your already full life. But you don't *need* another to make yourself complete.

One of the best ingredients for a successful relationship are two people who know how to satisfy their own needs. They are happy by themselves and not *needing* a relationship.

Wanting, yes.

Needing, no.

Kathryn Lord © 2004 All Rights Reserved

About The Author

Kathryn Lord, Romance Coach / Helping Singles Find A Sweetheart!

eBk: "Find A Sweetheart Soon! Your Love Trip Planner for Women"

Purchase ebook at: http://www.cafeshops.com/findasweetheart

Want more? Get my complimentary enewsletter *eMAIL to eMATE*

Subscribe at http://find-a-sweetheart.com/newsletter.html

www.Find-A-Sweetheart.com / email: Kathryn@Find-A-Sweetheart.com

4870 Oak Ridge Road, Vicksburg, MS 39183 / Ph.601-619-0030


MORE RESOURCES:

New York Daily News

EHarmony Settles Dispute Over Gay Matches
Wall Street Journal - Nov 19, 2008
By NATHAN KOPPEL and SHIRA OVIDE A settlement Wednesday between eHarmony Inc. and the New Jersey attorney general requires the online heterosexual dating ...
UPDATE 1-Suit forces eHarmony to offer gay dating service Reuters
Dating Web Site, eHarmony, Settles In Gay Discrimination Case Evening Bulletin
eHarmony settlement could mean changes for Utah dating Web sites KSL-TV
Boston Herald - Tango
all 275 news articles


San Francisco Chronicle

Hartnett Dating Miller?
San Francisco Chronicle,  USA - 10 hours ago
... Actor Josh Hartnett was reportedly spotted enjoying another intimate evening in London with British star Sienna Miller, fueling rumors they are dating. ...


"Boom": an apocalyptic dating game
Seattle Times, United States - 54 minutes ago
Played by Gretchen Krich, Barbara can freeze the action, or drum up a mood by bashing away on a timpani, and her role in this apocalyptic dating game is ...


BuddyTV

Emily Blunt and 'Office' Actor Rumored to be Dating
BuddyTV, WA - 56 minutes ago
No comment has been issued by both parties regarding the dating rumor but Star magazine claims that Blunt and The Office actor were seen on Sunday, ...


Gay Dating
TheStorygroup.com, GA - 1 hour ago
Great Gay Dating! Worth seeing! Check The Site For Gay Dating To Find Out More. Meet girls online and check their pictures from our site! ...
Mobile Dating TheStorygroup.com
all 4 news articles


Oh, Baby! Big News for Sanchez
Washington Post, United States - 2 hours ago
By Amy Argetsinger and Roxanne Roberts The SoCal Democrat is by far the House's finest comedian -- sharing wacky tales of dating life on the charity ...
Linda Sanchez is pregnant with first child PolitickerCA
all 180 news articles


eFUEL EFN Corp. Is Developing Virtual Dating Technologies That ...
MarketWatch - Nov 19, 2008
This virtual dating platform will be introduced in early 2009 to the over 8.5 million members of eFUEL's online dating Websites -- a number increased ...


The Dating Game: Is it game, set, match? We have to wait and see
Kentucky.com, KY - 18 hours ago
By FRED GONZALEZ - McClatchy Newspapers I hopped on a jet plane to Puerto Rico for the weekend with CoolGirl, whom I have been dating for close to a year ...


After 27 years, I was dating a social moron
SunHerald.com, MS - 19 hours ago
I re-entered the dating world after 27 years absence. I had high hopes. I was a good person, a valuable human being with wants and needs. ...


Are you dating a Mama’s Boy?
Realitywanted, AZ - 13 hours ago
Are you dating a guy who can’t go a day without calling his mama on the phone? Does about your relationship? Does he even invite his mom out on your dates ...

Dating - Google News

home | site map
© 2006