| |
| |
|
Relationships Information |
|
|
|
Why Doesnt She Leave Him?
It's very easy to look, from the outside, at another woman's unhappy relationship and ask: 'Why on earth does she stay with him?' It's especially easy if the man in question exhibits the subtle charm of Attila the Hun - or the social graces of Fat Bast*rd in Austin Powers. Some abusive men parade their hostility and prejudices as proudly as if they were merits. Others are utterly charming and engaging in the social context. And their partners' suffering is compounded endlessly by the incomprehension they meet with, when they finally decide to leave. "What him? No! I don't believe it!! He's so lovely.' Strange how mere onlookers should assume they know more than the women who have lived up close and personal with these Jekyll and Hyde figures. The question, where this group is concerned, is more likely to be: 'How could she leave him?' As if public charm was enough to guarantee their partner's physical and emotional sanity. Others, who lack the style of the true charmer, simply come across as oily creeps. In fact, there are no prizes for spotting Fat Bast*rd, Attila the Hun, or the Oily Creep, if you've never been wooed by him. If, on the other hand, for some reason, you have ever dropped your defences for more than a millisecond, these men will bamboozle you and bind you, in record time, with more chains than Harry Houdini ever had to cope with. They bind you first with the chains of love and sex, and the chains may - briefly - feel as light as garlands of flowers. They bind you, next, with jealousy, power, fear, children, money, isolation, humiliation and contempt. They bind you so tightly that the struggle to escape exhausts you fruitlessly. And each time you stop struggling, they tighten the chains; through further isolation, humiliation or exercise of power. Until the chains nearly asphyxiate you. And yet, women stay. They stay because they sincerely believe it is in their children's interest to have two parents. They stay because they don't know that it's not their fault. They believe that they are to blame for everything that has gone wrong in the relationship. They stay because they have been brainwashed into believing that they are loathsome and their partner is, in some way, admirable. They stay because they believe if they can't make their partner love them, nobody else ever will. They stay because they don't believe they deserve better. They stay because society is so ignorant about the true nature of domestic violence (be it physical or emotional) that they don't know where to turn to understand what is happening to them. They stay because they are desperate to be heard, even when they have lost their own voice. They stay because they have been blinded to reality and crushed emotionally by the relationship. And yet they can, and will, pick up the threads of their life. The timescale may not sit comfortably with the onlooker. But when you stop to think about the enormous emotional hurdles they must scale, it's no wonder it takes a while. Annie Kaszina Joyful Coaching An NLP Practitioner and Women's Empowerment Coach, Annie specialises in helping women heal the trauma of the past, so they can enjoy the present and look forward to the future. Email:annie@joyfulcoaching.com To subscribe to Annie's twice monthly ezine, or order her eBook 'The Woman You Want To Be, go: to http://www.joyfulcoaching.com
MORE RESOURCES:
Relationships - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Why Its Good To Be Alone Have you noticed that there's an ebb and flow to everything in life? The sun comes up, the sun goes down; the tide comes in, the tide goes out. If you're not currently in a relationship, it simply means the sun has temporarily set; the tide is currently out. Conflict In Faith Direct Answers - Column for the week of July 19, 2004My husband is Jewish, and I am Catholic. That wasn't a problem when we were dating, because he isn't religious. Friendship Advice for a Shrinking Planet Ahh, friends. The people we pick up along the proverbial bus ride of life. Are You A Hopium Addict? Are You A 'Hopium Addict?'If the question alone was enough to make you recoil in horror, it doesn't necessarily mean that the term couldn't possibly apply to you. You may not have heard the term before, but your reaction may be because you are a closet hopium addict. Loving Without Losing Yourself! You are in love and it feels wonderful. This love is different and you are prepared to do anything to make it last. Buying Underwear For The Woman In Your Life - The Golden Rules There are two golden rules for choosing underwear for the woman in your life: ignore them at your peril!1) Make sure you get the right size?This is relatively easy - all you have to do is have a look at the label inside a bra that she often wears and note the size (numbers and letters, eg 36C) and do the same for a pair of knickers. Just don't let her catch you rummaging in her underwear drawer or she might get the wrong idea!!Then take yourself down to the nearest lingerie outlet (try a big department store - you'll get more help choosing and you'll get extra brownie points for the effort), find someone to help you and tell them the size you need. How to Ease the Pain of a Breakup Whether you do the dumping or you are the one who got dumped, breakups are painful. If you initiated the breakup you may feel guilty, or question that you made the right decision. The 100 Laws In any group of abused women there's almost always at least one who is extremely attractive; well groomed, well presented and the complete opposite of the kind of stereotypes that people normally harbour.At one domestic violence workshop, I met a stunning young woman. Your Beloved Soldier Is Coming Home - Now What? Your Beloved Soldier Is Coming Home - Now What?Laura anxiously anticipates the return of her husband Dan. What will it be like and what should she do? After all, he is not returning from a successful business trip or golf weekend. Everything I Know About Relationship Success I Learned At The Playground It happened again!I was enjoying an evening with my little 2-yr. old son at the playground when, BAM, it happened. 20 Tips to Keep Love Alive Have you ever been at a loss to think of something special that you can do for that special someone in your life? Maybe you want to do a little extra for an important event, like his or her birthday, Valentine's Day, Christmas, or anniversary.Here are some excellent tips and ideas of some special actions that you can take to help keep love alive in your life. Soul Mate - a Pain in the Neck "and they lived happily ever after.. 10 Fast Ways to Re-ignite the Flames of Love Enhance Romance today.When Men and Women enter into a relationship, what they are really looking for is a best friend, some one they know will love us no matter what. Relationships That Really Last: Is This the Secret? In my e-book, How to Build Relationships That Stick, I told over a story I once heard in the name of a famous relationships counselor who talks on radio shows. It was claimed to be an authentic account of something that happened in real life, but even if it's apocryphal, I'm very much inclined to believe it could happen. 10 Ways to Seduce A Woman I have written this article by request but want to begin by saying that I in no way encourage men to treat women like objects. Men, this is a guide to help you win over a woman that you have a genuine interest in. Boston Lawyers, DC Lawyers and Individual Rights Looks like everyone wants to sue someone right? Well, I suppose you have the right. Let me tell you my point of view on a couple of interesting current issues. Romantic Gift Guide It is a commonly held belief, mainly amongst men, that romantic gestures are only given on Valentines Day. This shouldn't be the case however, and a romantic gift or gesture given at any time of the year can make your loved one feel really special. Love and Life Lessons Recent events in my life have taught me that the best thing to do in any situation is just to love people. How can I be a better friend, a better Son, Brother or Sister,etc. Why Do Men Cheat? In my relationship work, this question is probably the one I hear most often. It is not an easy question to answer. Spice Up Your Relationship Tonight Every relationship needs relief from the same old bedroom routine now and then. Here is a collection of tips to boost the Scoville units in your romance.
|
| home | site map |
| © 2006 |
