Relationships Information

Did He Think of Me?


As a betrayed partner this was one of the first questions that I asked my husband when I found out about his affairs. Each affair elicited the same response from me. "Did you think about me?"

I wanted to know it all! Did he think of me before he decided to sleep with her, did he think of me while he was sleeping with her.

When a betrayed partner asks this question it is because she does not comprehend where she fits in the affair. She doesn't understand that the affair is not about her.

To the betrayed spouse, the affair is all about them. They do not understand that the affair is not their fault and they are not the central person in the affair.

This is a difficult concept for the betrayed partner to grasp. It causes intense pain that they could so easily be forgotten. To the betrayed partner, they feel as if they have been tossed aside and they are seeking validation that they are important.

If you are a betrayed spouse please try to understand that the affair isn't about you. It is about your spouse and what is lacking in your spouse. While you should own your part in the problems of the relationship, know that you have no responsibility to own the affair.

If you are the unfaithful spouse, you need to approach this question from your spouse with caution. Answer truthfully. Do not hold back, thinking that you are sparing your spouse from some pain. It is likely that your spouse already knows that you did not think of them while you were engaged in the affair. You need to validate that your spouse is important to you, that the marriage is important to you, and that you are willing to do what ever it takes to help them see that. Above all, be honest. You will do your spouse no favors by continuing any deceit.

Brandi Simon is the owner of InjuredHearts.com where she offers articles and information for those suffering the effects of an extramarital affair. Brandi is a successful relationship coach, offering guidance to those who wish to move forward in their relationships. Brandi specializes in Infidelity Coaching. Brandi is an affair survivor and offers advice to those who are recovering. To learn more about Brandi, the coaching services, or infidelity in general, please visit http://www.injuredhearts.com


MORE RESOURCES:

Sydney Morning Herald

The failure of schools to educate
Sydney Morning Herald, Australia - 4 hours ago
These relationships are often transient and disposable, and lack authenticity. Social skills are under-exercised in some families. This can lead to children ...


Relationships with Whit: Dressing well through the ages
Houston Chronicle, United States - Sep 6, 2008
By WHITNEY CASEY Copyright 2008 Houston Chronicle Nicholas met Veronica one night when each was out with friends. His were all around 40, like him, ...


Legislating family relationships
Concord Monitor, NH - 15 minutes ago
What amazes me about their position is that they're waiting for a law to legislate a relationship with their children. This is usually the same group of ...


Nick Jonas Relationships in Song
TheCelebrityCafe.com, NY - Sep 6, 2008
Her new song, entitled “I’m Sorry,” is about a relationship, and although it doesn’t specify which relationship it is talking about, it’s pretty easy to ...


Kansas City Star

Former mayors endorse Barnes
St. Joseph News-Press, MO - 31 minutes ago
by Ken Newton Three former mayors stood on the steps of St. Joseph City Hall Sunday and extolled the virtue of relationships among cities. And one of them, ...
Barnes endorsed by two former St. Joseph mayors Kansas City Star
all 2 news articles


HUMAN MATTERS: Authentic anger needed to grow in relationships
Las Vegas Review - Journal, NV - 20 hours ago
Is there a place for yelling angry things in a great relationship? It has taken me a long time to wield, to own, to believe the answer to this question. ...


Jamaica Gleaner

Make-up sex shakesup relationships - Spousal rows lay surprising ...
Jamaica Gleaner, Jamaica - Sep 6, 2008
Rayon Barnes tells Saturday Life that 'post-World War' sex can rejuvenate a relationship, saying it is equivalent to 'gettin' some' for the first time. ...


Bachelor parties gone bad can test relationships
Texarkana Gazette, TX - 16 hours ago
“That’s the sign of a healthy relationship,” she said. Communicating expectations is critical, agreed etiquette expert Anna Post, great great granddaughter ...


BBC News

'Dozens' of under-16s have STIs
BBC News, UK - 6 hours ago
At the clinic in Paisley, Renfrewshire, two 14-year-old girls told BBC Scotland that most of their friends were in sexual relationships. ...


Relationships : The Growth of Hookup Websites: Will They Overtake ...
Prudent Press Agency (press release), Netherlands - Sep 6, 2008
Though there are endless options for people seeking other people for various reasons and different types of relationships, it seems to some that there is an ...

Relationships - Google News

home | site map
© 2006