| |
| |
|
Relationships Information |
|
|
|
Happily Single v Happily Married
Have you noticed how so many people spend their lives wishing they were something they are not? Short people would like to be tall; plump people want to be thin; singles want to be in a relationship, possibly married, and those who are married eye their single friends and the freedom they have, with some jealousy. Family gatherings are always a minefield for the singletons amongst us. Our friends and relations, who have found their significant other, can't wait for everyone else to do the same - thereby re-affirming their own decision to make a commitment. It is as if they need us to follow suit to prove to themselves that they have done the right thing. How often, as a single person, have you been grilled by an elderly, whiskery relative who smelt vaguely of mothballs, on whether you have a boyfriend or girlfriend? How often have you heard them tell you that you had better get a move on or risk being left "on the shelf"? As someone who is single, and loving it, even I leave such events hosting some niggling doubts about whether I should be searching for my, so far elusive, soul mate! I watch married friends change. I watch them mould themselves into wives, housewives, mothers, step-mothers, superwomen who try to keep all plates spinning. I watch elegant career women go through the door of matrimony and emerge on the other side as harassed frumps who need a good haircut (but I forgot, the partner likes her hair long). I wonder why they do it? (And yes, I know, the men change too. Both parties to the relationship adapt to meet the needs of their partner, this is not meant to be in any way sexist!) And then I look at my best friend, and I know. She has been married for 14 years (to the same man). I'm sure they've had their share of the not so good times but they have worked together to make a true partnership.They do things together and separately. They have 3 wonderful children. They struggle financially. They communicate. They share. They exchange looks which negate the need for the spoken word. They forgive each other, they tolerate each other, they are two halves of a whole and yes, sometimes, I am jealous. So is there a moral to this rambling tale? I think there is! What I want is for you to be happy with what you are and how you are right now and enjoy life as it is at this moment. If you would like something different in your life there is nothing to stop you making changes and taking the necessary action to attract that difference, but it does not mean you have to be dissatisfied and discontent with what you have at the moment. Where you are in your life right now is the perfect place for you to be - or it can be if you decide to make it so. Why waste precious time wishing for something you haven't got? Because I can guarantee that, once you have it, you'll be wishing for something else. I am not saying you must compromise on your hopes, dreams and wishes. Not at all. I simply suggest that there could be less suffering in your life if you were to be happy with what you have, whilst you plan your future and then be happy with how you are, whilst you execute that plan. Hold your vision of your future and know that wherever you are today is taking you one step closer to achieving that dream. Above all, enjoy the life you have now, be it as a single or a married person. For those who are single and seeking to be in a relationship, think about your presence in the world. How attractive is it to potential partners if you are moping around because you haven't got what you want? How much more attractive is the energy of someone who is making the best of their current life circumstances and embracing each day with enthusiasm? Married but not sure if you want to be? Have you tried loving your partner in the way you want to be loved? What have you done to bring the joy back into your relationship? I promise, the grass is not always greener on the other side of the fence. Our own grass can be very green if we choose to see it as such! Donnie Harrison is a UK based Coach and Business Mentor. Donnie works with individual clients who are facing a life transition - she describes herself as a companion on the journey of change. Additionally Donnie specialises in working with individuals who are setting up or building a Professional Private Practice, particularly in the healthcare sector be it traditional, alternative or complementary. Further information is available from http://donnieharrison.com
MORE RESOURCES:
Relationships - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Relationship Advice: How to Ignore Your Spouse or Partner Marriage can be one of the quickest and most effective paths to taking someone special for granted.We don't mean to do it. Five Tips for Breaking Free of The Drama Habit and Developing a Healthier Arguing Style We all feel angry from time to time, but feeling angry and acting like a raging, out-of-control child during moments of anger are two very different things. And when anger "crosses the line" in the context of an intimate relationship, it can cause extensive-and sometimes even irreparable-discord and damage. Recharging Your Relationship Now you may ask why we would write an article about developing better relationships. The reason is because I believe that those who are in a relationship will be significantly and directly affected in all areas of their life by how that relationship is going, and how healthy that relationship is. Find Love The Zen Way "If he comes we welcome, If he goes we do not pursue" Zen sayingWe all want love. We are all searching for some lasting relationship. Are You Relationship Ready? So, you want to fall in love? You are certainly old enough and moving well along your chosen career path. Many of your friends are either married or in committed relationships. Taking the True Relationship Test If you have ever read teen magazines you will be familiar with the myriad tests they offer their readers. You can find out everything from which type of jelly bean you are to which celebrity is your soul mate. What Men Want From Women Actually, it's pretty simple. Deep inside the heart of every man is a secret wish to be trusted. How to Handle a Cheating Partner Most people do not understand the nature of cheating within a relationship. Let's begin by taking a look at that before going any further. Relationship Advice: Why Brad and Jen Broke Up and What We Can Learn from Them It's been a few months since the riveting headlines: The Dream Couple, Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston broke up. The fall out from this celebrity break up is still plastered all over the magazine headlines. Relationship Advice - 10 Ways to Put Sizzle Back in Your Relationship It seems that no matter how much we love someone, and how deeply we are committed, keeping the sizzle alive in a relationship takes a little work. Here are ten ways you can help ignite the flame that was there when you first got together. Men and Relationships Ever since the women's movement began, women have empowered themselves through self-help books, classes, therapy, and TV shows such as Oprah, the Lifetime Network and much more. Women have been stepping up to the plate, taking responsibility for their lives, their jobs and their relationships. Are Single Black Women Too Independent? Are single black women too independent? Too sure of themselves, too eager to express their opinion (and dis yours), too unwilling to listen and be submissive? Are today's black women even capable of 'following' a strong black man? For all my single brothers out there who have asked me these questions many times - this article is for you.First, let's deal with the first question - Are single black women too independent? My answer to this might surprise you - I think, in many ways, black women are too independent, but with good reason. Lists, Lists, and More Lists Every person that thinks something is amiss in their relationship wants to know, what are the signs that my partner is cheating on me. Well guess what! These signs can leave you with more doubts than anything else. Anniversary Blues Jamie and Kurt are a sweet, successful couple in their early thirties. In spite of loving each other deeply, they often find themselves in conflict over seemingly minor issues, as most couples do. The First Ninety Days A friend of mine recently commented on the amazing number of romance novels written and the huge amount of money being made in that industry. He then shared his observation that these romance novels don't usually tell their stories beyond the first ninety days or so. Dangerous Relationship? I will in this article cover some of my own experiences living with a person with a dysfunctional personal disorder of type borderline. I call these person BP (BorderlinePersonality) to make things easier. Ive Gotta Hand It to You What would I do without my wife? Not much. What would I do without my best friend? Even less. Passion or Purpose? I hate moderation. I hate doing things moderately. Friends and Friendship - Who are Friends, What is Friendship A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. (Proverbs 17:17)You can always tell a real friend: when you've made a fool of yourself, he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job. What Went Wrong? When Relationships Go From Hot To Cold Everything was great.We had been dating for 6 months.
|
| home | site map |
| © 2006 |
