| |
| |
|
Relationships Information |
|
|
|
Breaking Your Relationship Pattern, Part 2
The first step toward being able to attract and create your ideal relationship is to clear the way for it by eliminating baggage from your past. This baggage refers to any resentments, hurts, or fears you have toward anyone who either was a role model or who participated directly in a relationship with you. Lots of people carry such baggage for a long time, some even for a lifetime. The sooner you can truly let go of this baggage, the less likely you are to recreate bad situations in current and future relationships. Dropping this baggage is what I call "getting complete." How do you get complete? Completion is not a sense or an emotion or even a state of being, but a process. This means there are steps and practical actions that will get you to completion. What stands between you and having a great relationship is acting on these steps. At the most basic level, completion is an exercise in communication. Imagine you could finally say everything you needed to say to everyone you needed to say it to, no holds barred. Wouldn't that give you a great sense of relief and freedom? In essence, getting complete is getting to communicate everything to everyone, without spending your life looking for everyone from your past or having to deal with less-than-receptive people. Once you are complete with a situation, the next time you face a similar situation you will be free to choose your actions rather than being run by fear, pain, anger, etc. You may flash back to the old situation, but you will not react based on it. You will no longer have anything but a minute negative emotional response when looking back on hurtful situations. For the majority of the time, you will feel genuine forgiveness toward others and yourself. The first thing you need to do to get complete is to feel all of your feelings, no matter how unpleasant they may be. How do you feel about your past relationships? Have you swept your feelings under the rug? Are you still secretly pining for someone? What are you afraid of in regards to relationships? Who are you still angry with? In order to allow yourself to feel, you have to know that feelings, unless they are of the clinical depression or the criminal rage kind, will not kill or hurt you. Most people have either not had the permission or never slowed down enough to feel their feelings. You must give yourself both the time and the permission if any completion is to take place. As long as you don't let yourself feel, you will recreate exactly what you had in the past. If you want something different -- a fulfilling relationship -- you can't afford to recreate the past. Right now, check in with your feelings and make a list of all the people and situations you need to complete. We will come back to this list. The second thing you need to do to get complete is to take action. Look for a list of ten action steps in next week's newsletter. Your Relationship Coach,
About The Author Do you know how to attract your ideal mate? Do you know how to build a fulfilling relationship, or how to reinvent yours to meet your needs? Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries can teach you the skills and techniques to attract and sustain long-term, healthy partnerships. Visit http://www.WhatItTakes.com where you'll find quizzes, classes, advice and a free weekly ezine. Become a "true love magnet(tm)!"
MORE RESOURCES:
Relationships - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Finding a Life Partner Dear Candace,I'm 35 years old and ready to open my heart to a true partner. I have honored myself in the past by leaving relationships that weren't right, yet I wonder if my idea of how I think it is supposed to be is preventing me from creating what I truly want. Relationship Tips: 16 Practical Dramatic Ways to Know if He/She is REALLY Changing Every relationship hits a snag, or worse, a major crisis (such as infidelity), that demands significant change if the relationship is to survive.So. Yellow and Orange Flags in Relationships It's been said that love is blind. It may also be deaf and dumb, but in this article I'll deal with the onset of blindness that occurs at the beginning of a relationship. Essense of Infidelity On one very popular web site there were 260 posts from both sexes commenting about forgiving and forgetting infidelities. I read every one of them. Ladies, Is Your Valentine The Cheating Kind? According to statistics, 50% to 70% of men cheat on their mates. What type of man is most likely to cheat? Ruth Houston, infidelity expert and author of "Is He Cheating on You? - 829 Telltale Signs" says, "Some men are more likely to cheat than others. My Fairy Tale Is Gone Dear Candace,My girlfriend and I recently split up. I called her a few days ago and she said that it was over and that she did not want to discuss it with me anymore, that I had gotten on her nerves to the point where she didn't see any point in communicating with me, ever. Simple Love Spells Here are some very simple rituals, some old, and some new that might help you achieve your romantic intentions.A bouquet of roses set in the southwestern corner of your bedroom is thought to attract love. Find Love The Zen Way "If he comes we welcome, If he goes we do not pursue" Zen sayingWe all want love. We are all searching for some lasting relationship. For Better Or Worse For Better or WorseI was in the middle of a conversation the other evening with a friend of mine, and her better half. The conversation was about the kids. How To Re-ignite the Fire in Your Relationship! Couples that are together for a while sometimes suffer from passion burn out.Are you a victim of passion burnout?If you no longer have the desire to jump all over your partner whenever they walk through the door, and find more things to complain about than compliment, you may be headed down the path of trouble. A Friend in Need Here's the scenario: Julie, a hardworking secretary, lent money to her good friend Ray; $1300 to be exact. Ray had just moved to a new town and claimed that he needed two new suits: one for an upcoming wedding and one to wear on job interviews. Great Relationships: 4 More Dumb MIstakes and 4 Smarter Moves to Make 1) Treat the family you have come from as more important than the family you are creating. Put your parents' opinion and happiness above those of your spouse. The Five Second Flirt Technique The first thing you want to do is to get into the line of sight of the man you are attracted to. When you catch his eye, you must give him the most inviting and receptive look you can manage, for three seconds? Count them. Gay and Lesbian Relationships America has a reluctance to accept relationships between people of the same gender. This reluctance follows a similar pattern to the hostility towards interracial relationships. How To Support Friends and Loved Ones Through an Abusive Relationship This is a question that comes up a lot. It's hugely frustrating, as well as difficult and painful to watch someone you care about struggle in the quicksand of an abusive relationship. 3 Stone Diamond Rings - Three Times As Nice! It is said that the stones in 3 stone diamond rings represent the past, the present and the future. Just as a couple unite these things when they join together in marriage, so three stone diamond rings represent perfectly all that has made each partner what they are today, the present moment that they share, and the future into which they now walk together. Great Relationship Advice: Declaration or Demonstration Q: Could you help us settle a growing conflict in our marriage? I always tell my wife I love her and would do anything in the world for her. That doesn't seem to do it for her. The Thoughts that Occupy the Minds of Most Men Please note that this is not an attempt to give you a comprehensive list of the thoughts of all men, but rather my attempt to lead you into the crevice of the minds of most men. There are certainly men that do not think of most of the things here - those yet to be born. [Conflict Resolution] The Philosophy of Fear and Confrontation Is there now, or has there been, a person or two in your life that you have difficulty in maintaining a civil relationship with at times? It may be your spouse or lover; it may be a friend or a superior at work. We usually say "I have a love-hate relationship with this person. Common Relationship Problems The essential problem in any bad relationship is a breakdown in communication between the two partners. No matter what the issues are (money, infidelity, etc.
|
| home | site map |
| © 2006 |
