| |
| |
|
Relationships Information |
|
|
|
Are Men and Women Really from Different Planets?
Are men really from Mars, and women from Venus?'what women want,' is still left unanswered to men. Even when we reflect upon the 2000 film, What Women Want - lead character, Nick Marshall (played by Mel Gibson) seems to have all the answers. But does he really? Is it an inevitable fact that men and women are predestined not to clearly understand one another? I vividly recall a playtime conversation between my son and daughter when they were just preschoolers. In amusement, I watched as my son took his metal matchbox cars and drove them all over his roadmap carpet. 'Vroom...vroom...' he mumbled. And there beside him, sat my three-year old daughter, tightly clasping her little fingers around her own two cars. Adamantly, she waved them in front of her older brother's face and attempted to make her cars have 'dialogue' with his cars. After a few moments of no response, (other than 'vroom, vroom'), my daughter quickly became frustrated. She folded her arms and marched over to me, "...Mom, Ryan isn't playing right," she said matter-of-factly. Initially, I wanted to chuckle but I knew she was quite serious. I asked her, "...what do you mean - he is not playing right?" She blew out a huff and responded, "...I want his cars to talk to my cars and all he does is crash his cars into mine!" Peering over her head, I saw that my son was unnerved and oblivious to his sister's obvious irritation. While she stood there with absolute disgust, he continued playing with his metal vehicles. It was at that point that I let out a little giggle, and I gave her a simple answer, "...sweetie, boys like to play and girls like to talk." It may not have been the answer she was seeking, but this tiny event has shed some light to a wide-spectrum issue in two, very different sexes. Throughout life, I have personally learned that men are action-oriented, whereas women are interaction-oriented. And from personal experience, I have seen that many of these attributes are innate traits stemming back to prehistoric times where males were considered hunter/gatherers and females, considered nurturers. While human evolution has dramatically evolved with modern technology; longer, healthier life spans and overall improved communication skills - it seems that men and women still do not speak the same language. Inherently, men use interactions to fulfill essential purposes: entertainment, information communication, task completion, and other related needs. Women on the other hand, prefer to interact to deepen levels of relationships - to better understand their counterpart, or to bring about resolution through interaction. In other words, when men and women communicate, we hear the same dialogue, but we perceive and practice verbal communications very differently. As with the case of my own two children, my son was absolutely clueless to my daughter's aggravation because he was preoccupied with his own actions. My daughter, however, was intent on interacting with him, and could not understand why he was ignoring her. This incident clearly demonstrates the concise perceptual differences between males and females. I have heard women tell me, `...he doesn't understand me,' or `...he's not listening to me...' And men, will rebuke, `...I don't know what you're talking about.' It's not that men don't listen to women - it's the fact that they are not hearing precisely what is being said; or perhaps they do not adequately comprehend the meaning behind the words. Additionally, because women are very interactive creatures, conversation may be invoked while men are actively engaged in a specific event, work or other project. When men are actively doing something, they are often so concentrated with their project that they simply do not hear a word. Women, however, may falsely perceive this inaction as disregarded communication. And then it's back to square one - `...why is he ignoring me?" To find resolve in relationships, both men and women have to realize that while we all must communicate for progressive action, it is also essential to understand that women and men clearly think in different terms at different times. Before we jump the gun, and imagine the worst of our human counterparts, we must think about what was said, and in what manner it was said as well. Tone of voice plays a vital role in determining our various forms of communication and interaction with one another. If we do not practice, or we are not perceptive to tone of dialogue, as well as the words themselves, then it will obviously be mistaken for a complete different communication altogether. In addition, when individuals do not automatically respond or don't hear others, it does not necessarily mean that the individual is being disrespectful or rejecting. Because we are only all too human, we have to accept that people make verbal and non-verbal mistakes that may or may not create tension in a relationship. If we begin to understand this is part of human nature, realize that we speak in different context, and comprehend that silence is not always a form of rejection, maybe then, both men and women will be able to reach each other on a positive level of interaction. © 4/2005 Are Men and Women Really from Different Planets? C. Bailey-Lloyd
MORE RESOURCES:
Relationships - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
To Know You Is To Love You How do you show someone you love them? Do you buy them expensive gifts? Spend quality time together? Make personal sacrifices just to see them smile? Dedicate a song to them? Write a love letter or note of encouragement? Become their cheerleader? Those are wonderful things to do but my question goes deeper then those types of activities, even beyond your romantic partner. Think about your parents, your children, your best friend, your sister, or your brother. Infidelity: Difference Between a Rage and Revenge Affair The fifth affair I outline in my book, "Break Free From The Affair" is called: "I Want to Get Back at Him/Her." This is the revenge affair. Relationship Advice: Closeness and Connection In my work with couples, certain themes have emerged that can help us understand how a couple that was once close can drift so far apart.How couples drift apart1) Life got in the way. To Cheat or Not To Cheat You know I am getting fed up with people who cheat. That seems to be the norm these days. Romantic Tips - Gift Giving I believe that we have all heard of the standard romantic gifts. Chocolate, flowers, and jewelry, but there is something to be said for the man who thinks out side the box when gift giving holidays roll around. Aromatherapy : A Scent Away for Great Relationships Is it possible that a scent can make you more mellow and increase dramatically the relation with you and your mate? Can you calm the kids down instantly? Do you wish that you would feel and look more in control for the big meeting? Thousands of people around the world have discovered the powerful benefits of Aromatherapy. And you can do it to. Penpal and Christian Penpal Having a penpal can be fun; bringing diversity into your friendship circles, and a having a Christian penpal can bring support and encouragement into your life. A penpal is someone that you correspond with, getting to know each other through personal writing. Romancing The Senses Romance can be experienced in numerous ways, but it is best enjoyed when you get all your senses in on the action. The following are suggestions for getting the most out of romance, one sense at a time. Q & A: Reuniting With a Lost Love >1. Who are the prime candidates to rekindle a romance?The most successful rekindled romances were lost lovers who had been 17 or younger at the time of the initial romance -- first loves -- and had separated for situational reasons, like "parents disapproved," "moved away. A Guide to Relationship Quizzes Sometime in the 1950's, women's magazines started publishing relationship quizzes in their pages with a complex scoring system that arrived at a number. This number was then plotted on a scale and the reader could determine, based upon that number, whether their relationship was "good" or not. How do We Change our Self Esteem Perception? Many of us have heard about the power of positive thinking to effect a change. The idea is not new, it stems from modern psychology as well as from ancient spiritual teachings. What is a Red Flag The focus of many of the last few articles has been on what is does a dangerous person look like, who you should avoid, but did you know that we all have personal red flags available if we just listen to them. Red Flags are signals that we all have, although they may differ just slightly. Stop, Look, & Listen: The 3-Step Approach to Understanding Your Partner IntroductionDo you feel misunderstood by your partner? Seem to keep getting into repetitive arguments over the same things? Have hidden resentments toward him and a mountain of unmet needs? If you're like a lot of other gay couples, chances are your listening skills might need a jump-start; and if it's not that, then fine-tuning your ability to listen can go a long way toward bridging the gap between you and your lover and bringing about more clarity and connection in your relationship.Conflict is inevitable when you're a couple, but how you go about negotiating it can mean the difference between cuddling on the couch together or sleeping on opposite sides of the bed when you retire for the evening. Valentines Day Gifts Can Expose a Cheating Husband If you have the uneasy feeling that your husband is having an extramarital affair, Valentine's Day is the ideal time to confirm what you suspect. The Valentine's Day gift he gives his mistress or the gift he receives from her in return, can provide you with proof of his infidelity. He Said, She Said The Relationship TriangleMost people get involved in a relationship for the right reasons and leave a relationship for the wrong reasons. In fact, most of us have been guilty of it at one time or another and of being a complete spaz demanding we get our way in the relationship. 10 Things You Probably Didnt Know About Signs of Infidelity Certain things about signs of infidelity come as a surprise to most people. Even people who pride themselves on being knowledgeable about extramarital affairs may be unfamiliar with the little-known facts below. The Three Rings of Relationships Glenna Trout is an international authority on face reading whose name I first registered in the context of Domestic Violence. (She contributed to The Kent Constabulary's extraordinarily informative leaflet on Domestic Violence. Making New Friends How do we make friends? More importantly if dropped into a new city or a new job or a new school, how do we go about making a new friends? Most of us don't really think about it, but just sort of allow people to float in and out of our lives without really paying any attention to how we pull new people into our lives.Years ago, my son was four years old and starting preschool. How Do We Know When A Relationship Has A Future? In many instances, we all are "gun shy" after a short-or long- term relationship, because being hurt or feeling bad is not an option.This stinging feeling tends to guide us as we clamor for something new or fresh. Maybe Not Bones, But Hearts...And Worse: The Destructive Power of Simple Speech Out of the blue, slap bang in the middle of a working day, an unexplained sensation inside your mouth breaks your concentration.You have deadlines to meet, and you react merely by immersing yourself with new determination in the task in hand.
|
| home | site map |
| © 2006 |
