Relationships Information

What Every Woman Should Know About Men and Romance


Men and women think differently about romance.

Men are goal-oriented. They measure their success by their achievement. Unconsciously, they tend to divide their relationship into two phases - courtship and 'Keepership'.

The aim of courtship is to woo the woman and win her affection. During the courtship, he is the hunter while she is the hunted. During the hunt, he can be wonderfully charming, thoughtful and sensitive. He attends to her every whim and fancy. He is sensitive to her feelings and needs. He pays great attention to every detail. He will go to great length to please her. If necessary, he will climb the highest mountain, swim the widest river, and bungee jump, just for her. He may send flowers or a loving note after a romantic date.

But once her heart is captured, the courtship is over. When the hunt is over, so is romance. When he senses the woman cares for him, he changes. His victory is assured. Having captured her heart, she is like a trophy for keeps.

Women tend to be different. They want romance to continue; they are disappointed when it ceases. Women often feel shortchanged by men when romantic behavior fades. Women complain that men take them for granted.

For most men, romance is a means to an end; to many women, romance is an end in itself. Most men don't feel discomfort with romance; they love it. Guess who read romantic novels - the women of course!

Men, on the other hand, are anxious to get over with the pursuit so that they can stop worrying, relax and enjoy the rewards of victory. While women tend to equate pursuit with love, men often equate not having to pursue with love. Having possessed her love, he can stop pursuing her.

Before marriage, men often declare their undying love with the magic words, "I love you." But after marriage, they hardly utter those words. The excuse men gave is that they have not changed their mind since they declared their undying love at the altar; and if he ever changes his mind, he would tell her. They feel they don't have to remind her that 'I love you' everyday.

What a dilemma for the women! Is there any hope for romance? Of course there are. A committed relationship need not be without romance and passion.

If a woman wants her man to be romantic, here are some things she can do.

Do not hassle him to buy you presents, bring you flowers or accompany you for shopping. Men do not like to be told what to do. If you keep nagging him, you will probably succeed in making him feel pressured and guilty, but you are not going to get him to feel more romantic. Even if he dutifully gives in and brings home a dozen roses from the florist, it will probably be mere compliance. Romance has to come from the heart, not out of obligation. The smart woman knows that compliance is an enemy of romance. Let him feel it is his ideas, not yours.

Simply allow him to enjoy being loved. Interpret his diminished need to be romantic as a compliment, as a hallmark of his trust in you. He is assured of your love. You are safely in his fold. Therefore he does not feel the need to woo you and to remind you of his love for you.

Understand the psychology of men. Do the unexpected. Reward him occasionally. Keep him in suspense. To be predictable is to be boring. Be unpredictable. Men enjoy the chase. Put him in a competition so that he will not take you for granted. Be vague. The uncertainty stimulates him, motives him to re-embark on the romantic chase; it drives him wild.

Remember, for men, romance is a goal-oriented behavior, a time when they are uncertain of a woman's feeling towards them. The key word is uncertainty. When men are uncertain, they become more romantic.

Tim Robinson is the owner of http://www.singlesgold.com. If you're looking for romance, friendship or just some fun, SinglesGold.com is a great place to start!


MORE RESOURCES:

Guardian book club: Relationships
guardian.co.uk, UK - 5 hours ago
Their relationships, therefore, are not exactly predictable. In the first chapter, there is some peculiar triangle involving Maretta, who sits silently in ...


Endpaper: Meaningful relationships with readers
Telegraph.co.uk, United Kingdom - 5 hours ago
The most productive relationship to arise from this latest example of the publishing industry's dogged pursuit of diversification could prove to be between ...


Lasting relationships
Jamaica Observer, Jamaica - 20 hours ago
Maintaining lasting relationships requires constant building and nurturing. We must place high values on people, God does! Give others the benefit of ...


Best Syndication

Building a Downline with Relationships
Best Syndication, CA - 8 hours ago
It’s under the surface a relationship business. And by creating and maintaining a strong relationship with your downline, you can quickly achieve everything ...


SMS snooping can doom relationships
Times of India, India - Aug 28, 2008
It also revealed that 73% of these sneaky text checkers have found out things they later wished they hadn't, and 10% ended their relationship because of SMS ...


Relationships are truly a family affair
Cape Breton Post, Canada - 12 hours ago
It’s funny how our own relationships affect those around us. From friends to significant others, the company we choose plays a valuable role in the way we ...


Examiner.com

Relationships Examiner
Examiner.com - 16 hours ago
Her approach examines how relationships in work, home, and environment contribute to our well-being. The previous post is an example of the parent child ...


Female guard accused of having sexual relationships with inmates
New Richmond News, WI - 14 hours ago
A female guard at a state minimum-security prison is on administrative leave, after two inmates said they had sexual relationships with her. ...


Senior Fundraising and Relationships Manager
Third Sector (registration), UK - 17 hours ago
You will need to be a competent and experienced person with excellent personal interaction and relationship skills and the ability to influence individuals. ...


Examiner.com

Relationships Examiner
Examiner.com - 16 hours ago
Her approach examines how relationships in work, home, and environment contribute to our well-being. I laugh every time I see this old Staples “Back to ...

Relationships - Google News

home | site map
© 2006