| |
| |
|
Relationships Information |
|
|
|
Top Ten List of What to Do and What Not to Do in Relationships
Most of us who have been intimately involved with someone beyond the infatuation stage know that relationships are like a rollercoaster ride. When things are good, they are very, very good. When things are bad, they are very, very bad. As a relationship coach, I have developed Top 10 Lists---one for men and one for women on 10 things to do and not to do in relationships. MEN DO 1. Just listen to your partner without offering advice. 2. Trust and respect her. 3. Treat her as an equal partner in your relationship. 4. Stay and support her when she gets emotional. She is looking for understanding, not solutions. 5. Continue your courtship even after she's committed to you. Continue to create romance in your relationship. 6. Do little things on a regular basis. A woman doesn't care if you call her at work to say, "I love you" or if you buy a new TV for the living room. The small things are worth just as much as the big ones. 7. Honor any agreements you have made with her. 8. Encourage her goals and direction. 9. Find out what your partner would like to do and then do it with her. 10. Say, "I'm sorry" when you've done something you regret or that was hurtful to your partner, whether intentionally or unintentionally. DON'T 1. Go to bed angry with your partner. 2. Try to offer advice or solutions when your partner just needs you to listen to her without comment. 3. Pretend to listen to her when you really aren't. 4. When you need to sort things out in your head, just explain you need space, you aren't angry with your partner and that you'll be back. 5. Criticize your partner, especially her appearance. 6. Yell at your partner as if you were her father. 7. Take every word she says literally. Women, when upset, tend to speak in absolutes, such as "You NEVER listen to me;" when what she really means is that you aren't listening to her at that time. 8. Allow jealousy to erode the trust, love and respect of your relationship. 9. Violate her privacy. 10. Forget special occasions. Men and women have different communication styles, different needs and desires, and different relationship challenges. Learning these differences can assist us in strengthening the relationships we have now and in the future. John Gray began this revolutionary discovery in his book, Men are from Mars; Women are from Venus. The Women's List follows: WOMEN DO 1. When you want more quality time with your man, make the time you do have as positive as possible. 2. Trust and respect him. 3. Stop nagging. 4. Allow your partner time away from you without giving him the third degree. 5. Appreciate the little things he does for you and tell him so. 6. Make love creatively and often. Don't be afraid to initiate lovemaking. 7. Honor any agreements you have made with him. 8. Support his goals and direction. 9. Ask for what you want! (Believe it or not, no matter how much he loves you, he really can't read your mind.) 10. Accept his "No" gracefully, trusting that he would if he could. DON'T 1. Go to bed angry with your partner. 2. Insist he always share his feelings with you. Talking about feelings is more what women need. 3. Attempt to converse with your partner during a good movie or sporting event. 4. Continue to "give" in what you perceive is a lopsided relationship when you are at a point of resentment. 5. Criticize him or put him down, especially the things he does. 6. Scold your partner as if he were a child. 7. Use sex as a prize for good behavior or the withholding of sex as punishment for "bad" behavior. 8. Compare him to a fictional character in a book, movie or soap drama and find him lacking. 9. Violate his privacy. 10. Try to change him. Appreciate the man he is right now. There is so much to learn about satisfying relationships that your parents never showed you. Please don't become one of the statistics of divorce or perhaps worse, stay in a miserable relationship to honor your marriage vows while having so many regrets about your life as the time ticks away. Take charge and take control of your life. Learn some new ways to improve the relationship you are already in or to prepare yourself for being a better, improved partner for the next person in your life. Contact Kim at 708-957-6047 or email at Kim@TheRelationshipCenter.biz about relationship coaching or take one the many Teleclasses scheduled on the Events Calendar at www.TheRelationshipCenter.biz. Don't wait until it is too late. Kim Olver is a licensed professional counselor and a life/relationship coach. She helps people unleash their personal power by living from the inside out, focusing their time and energy on only those things they can control. She also helps people improve the quality of their relationships with the important people in their lives. For further information about Kim visit her website at http://www.TheRelationshipCenter.biz or contact her at(708) 957-6047.
MORE RESOURCES:
Relationships - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
A Dream of the Perfect Partner Your dream is so beautiful and it is never to late to happen. What I would say is keep your dream close to your heart and visualise fully what it would feel like for your dream to come true and your perfect partner stepped into your life. The Unfairly Judged Professor An All Too Familiar TaleShe takes her teaching responsibilities seriously; she is committed to making a difference in her students' lives. She prepares her syllabus meticulously, with class-by-class activities and assignments, the most relevant and up to date readings, illustrative cases, experiential activities. My Life My sister is 45 and having an affair with an old boyfriend from her youth. She says she loves him, he loves her, and they wish to pursue a life together. How to Handle a Cheating Partner Most people do not understand the nature of cheating within a relationship. Let's begin by taking a look at that before going any further. Calling Forth a Soulmate How do I draw a soulmate into my life? You don't. I've read plenty of books that tell you how to do it, but I don't believe for a minute that you can place your cosmic order and your perfect ideal twin soul is going to materialize just like that at your front door. The Simple Facts About Falling In Love We are meant to live a life of love. However, no matter how successful some are in other aspects of their lives, they donā??t feel itā??s realistic to have the same success in love. Ending Relationships Gracefully In my counseling practice, I often hear the question, "How do I end a relationship without hurting someone's feelings?" Whether it's a romantic relationship or a friendship, ending it gracefully is generally a challenge.The problem arises because so many people see it as a reflection of their worth when someone doesn't want to be with them. Relationships that Work: How to Get Along with People Who Drive You Crazy Question: What % of your bad moods at work are caused by conflicts?Answer: About 80% (if you're like the typical person)Think about how those conflicts wreck your work: You slip into an angry or frustrated mood and suddenly your productivity takes a nosedive.It makes sense, then, that doing your part to strengthen relationships can boost your results: Fix the conflict, feel better, get more done. Is The Internet A Miracle Cure For Loneliness? A few years ago a surprising survey discovered that people who spent a lot of time on the Internet were a lot lonelier than people who didn't spend much time on the Net.This was an unexpected find because many people view the Internet and e-mail as a great way to make and keep connections with other people. I Said Yes, I Meant No, and Now I Want Out Imagine this; you have the opportunity to go away for the weekend with some friends. Being the courteous partner that you are, you check to make sure that there aren't plans already in the works, or that your significant other doesn't have a problem with you being away. Tune Up Your Relationship Why do some relationships last forever and others fall apart? Here are some ways you can make your partner feel appreciated again and prevent your relationship from becoming a casualty.1. The Evolution of Dating at 40 and 50 I am sick of the dating scene at 40. The hassles of trying to meet someone is grating over my nerve cells. Are You Codependent or Independent? Why is it that depending on others to fulfill our self worth is a concept that we all can relate to? Sacrificing what our thoughts, emotions, decisions, and likes or dislikes are, for the betterment of someone else's.It is as if depending on the other person who you hold so high is more fulfilling then standing alone, independent of the other. Why Didnt He Call? Dear Lucia,I know I made a stupid mistake but what shall I do? I totally screwed up. I went out twice with a guy and we French kissed. What Does It Really Mean When You Pass or Fail A Relationship Quiz? Q. It seems that no matter what magazine I am reading there is always some new relationship quiz being published. Diamond Solitaire Rings - The Ultimate In Engagement Rings There are no better rings to seal your engagement than diamond solitaire rings. The ultimate in diamond rings, diamond solitaire rings are the only ring for the woman who wants the best in wedding jewelry. Soul Mate Myths But the cold truth is that most people have never known the inner radiance of their own soul. Instead, they cling to the many myths about the soul mate relationship that are simply not true. Romantic Tips - Gift Giving I believe that we have all heard of the standard romantic gifts. Chocolate, flowers, and jewelry, but there is something to be said for the man who thinks out side the box when gift giving holidays roll around. Approval - You Dont Need It Yesterday, after receiving a massage to help ease my computer-aided muscle tension, I was described as an over-achiever. That got me thinking about value-laden language and what it really means. Lifelong Partners, Lifelong Growth Many people, maybe even you, think there is only one life partner for each of us in our lives. I've got good news - we all have many, many life partners.
|
| home | site map |
| © 2006 |
