| |
| |
|
Relationships Information |
|
|
|
Before Falling Truly and Madly in Love Ask Each Other 10 Pertinent Questions
Falling in love?aaahh what a wonderful experience the first flushes of love are. The heart starts pounding, our temperature rises, and the butterflies begin fluttering whenever the girl/boy of our dreams enters the room. The world looks so?well?rosy. Not only that, life suddenly becomes much more exciting. From my own experiences the heady excitement of first love really did my head in - for some reason commonsense flew out the window?well in the short term anyway. I started accepting things that I normally wouldn't, pulled away from my old friends, and started to lose a part of myself to accommodate the other person. I followed my heart when on reflection I could've saved myself quite a bit of stress had I known a few more things about sharing my life with someone. I never really asked the important questions such as who would be the major breadwinner, compared our values or really planned for the future. I simply followed my heart and went with the flow in blissful abandonment. What do you really know about your future life long mate? Do you know what their favourite piece of music, colour, outfit, book, holiday destination is? What about their likes and dislikes? Do you know what their level of patience and understanding is, are they aware of yours? Are they flexible or inflexible thinkers and do you recognise whether you are or not? I've listed 10 basic points to ask each other before you reach love's point of no return. You could treat this as a date, and also as an opportunity to really get to know each other on a deeper level. Above all be tactfully truthful, treat what the other has to say with respect, and never assume the other knows what you're thinking. If this sounds a bit clinical, consider it as a blueprint of your future lives together. Ever heard the comments "I wish I'd known what I was getting myself into." Or "I wish I knew then, what I know now." Or "I just can't understand her/him." Here are the points: 1. Ask each other what your values are on a scale of 1 - 10. 2. Ask what you really do not value on scale of 1 - 10. 3. Do you both want children? If only one wants children, is there an alternative and is this issue negotiable? 4. Who will be the breadwinner after the baby is born? It's not necessarily dad anymore. Are you both okay with who will be the major breadwinner? 5. Assuming you both were employed prior to children, ask yourselves once you become a parent how long will it be before you return to paid employment. I make this point because from experience that whilst the majority of couples I've met are ok with the traditional scenario of the wife remaining at home with the children, some men have resented this. 6. What do you expect from each other - in sickness and in health? Ask each other what you expect from them; in return let your partner know what you will personally bring into the relationship and what you will continue to bring to the relationship. 7. What will you forgive/not forgive of each other's behaviours, for example, infidelity or lying? 8. Do you have a hobby you could both share? List all the really wonderful things you could do together. 9. Will there be occasions when you want to do things alone? For example, boys/girls night outs, fishing trip with the boys/girls etc. Is this acceptable to you? 10. Is there anything that annoys you about your partner already? Are you willing to accept annoyances? Secretly thinking that your partner will come around to your way of thinking sooner or later could possibly be setting yourself up for disappointment. There's also the risk of blame and anger if you're unable to change something you assumed you could. Accept that nothing in life is perfect - life could be said to be is perfectly imperfect. ©Michaela Scherr Michaela is a Transformational Coach, certified practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), writer and Metaphysician who is totally committed to helping others create positive and action oriented changes to their lives. Michaela is the author of the e-Book 10 Colour Meditation Scripts (http://www.michaelascherr.com/publications.htm), and publisher of a monthly newsletter called From My Desk. Married to David, Michaela has two children, Kristen and Aaron, and a grandchild called Matthew. Michaela and her family currently live in Brisbane Australia.
MORE RESOURCES:
Relationships - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Why Its Important to Stay in Contact with Your Friends when Youre in a Relationship So often when we begin to enter into a new relationship, it is very easy to get swept up by the romance, and leave behind our friends. With the wonderful bliss that you feel when you enter into a relationship it's easy to understand why we forget our friends and our everyday relationships. Is Your Soulmate an Idiot? Lately, I think people are investing too much energy in the idea that they "must find their soulmate." Where do we get this idea that we are somehow not complete unless we are connected to another person? What are you? An electrical outlet waiting for a plug, so you can finally light up the world? Frankly, when I hear the word "soulmate" I tend to give a little shudder, especially when I think about some of the people in my past that I have considered to be my soulmates. Reading Each Others Mind I cannot tell you how many times I have heard couples express the fact that they felt their partner should be able to read their mind. Have you ever felt this way? Such thinking can lead to disappointment, sadness, and yes, at times, even anger. Abusive Relationships Abusive relationships are so painful that I often wonder why it takes so long for us to know that it is abusive, addictive love we are experiencing. The damage created by an abusive relationship only worsens over time, weakening the abused and giving the abuser more power. How do We Change our Self Esteem Perception? Many of us have heard about the power of positive thinking to effect a change. The idea is not new, it stems from modern psychology as well as from ancient spiritual teachings. Gag Gifts Gag gifts can be very funny. They can also cause pain for the recipient, so you must choose your gag gift carefully. Love is Not Supposed to Hurt Questions and Answers:I often feel sad in my relationship, what can I do about it?I always feel like I'm walking on eggshells, is that normal?I feel different from how I used to feel, like I've lost my sense of self. Why?What can I do if my partner switches demeanors like Jekyll and Hyde?How can I stop my boyfriend from humiliating me, degrading me, and putting me down?Here are your answers:I often feel sad in my relationship, what can I do about it? If you feel sad in your relationship most, if not all of the time, then it is time that you really asked yourself if this relationship is bringing you joy MOST of the time. Extended Family Relationships: Staying Friends with Former Lovers and Spouses Excerpt From The Relationship Handbook: How to Understand and Improve Every Relationship in Your Life by Kevin B. BurkIt's natural to want to maintain a relationship with our former romantic partners (assuming that the relationship ended on reasonably good terms, of course). Religious Dating - Traditions and Values Dating someone with the same religious beliefs as you, can often result in a rewarding relationship where both you and your partner can share in the same values and traditions. It also means that if your dating becomes serious, you are less likely to have problems with family members disapproving of your choice. Relationship Advice - How to Improve Intimacy A relationship requires intimacy. I don't think anyone would argue with that. If He Insists That You Work... Once, when asked about her life, former First Lady Barbara Bush said, "I married well."Is it wrong to want to marry well? Ladies, it's all about survival - and it's all about what you will be able to do for your children. When Groucho Marx Got It Right Groucho Marx was, I believe, a comic genius; a linguistic virtuoso, offbeat, wacky and insanely funny. He was also rude, abrasive and these days he'd qualify as verbally abusive. Common Relationship Problems The essential problem in any bad relationship is a breakdown in communication between the two partners. No matter what the issues are (money, infidelity, etc. Choosing a Diamond Engangement Ring That She Can't Say No To! So you've decided to propose - congratulations! This is a moment that most women have been dreaming about since they were little girls, so you will want to make it as special as possible for her. And because she is the most adorable woman in the world, you will want to give to her a diamond engangement ring that is as beautiful and unique as she is, so here are some tips to help you choose the ring that is perfect for her. Loves All About Chemistry People who have been swept off their feet know the feeling. Love makes us all feel funny. Holiday Fun for Singles Are you dreading the holidays because you are single? For those who are alone, this can be a difficult season -- especially if you know what it is like to be in a relationship during this time of year. This can, however, be your best time of the year if you follow this plan:1. Diamond Alternatives - There Are Some Great Options There is little doubt that diamonds are one of the most elegant of the precious stones, and that diamond jewelry is simply a joy to wear. Unfortunately, though many of us are unable to afford the diamond jewelry we would so dearly love, as the great beauty and value of the stone are translated into the price that you have to pay to own one. 10 Clues of an Online Affair 1. Your spouse or partner spends excess time on-line. My Concept From my own personal experiences with relationships I believe in a concept that I have been working with, at least in my mind's eye, which is to give generously of yourself in your relationship. Always do what you can for your partner to make him or her happy, regardless if they invest in you. What Men Want From Women Actually, it's pretty simple. Deep inside the heart of every man is a secret wish to be trusted.
|
| home | site map |
| © 2006 |
