| |
| |
|
Stress Management Information |
|
|
|
Stress Management: How to Avoid the Ruts and Holes of Life
Have you ever noticed how we keep falling into the same holes and ruts in life? We know something doesn't work and yet we keep doing the same things over and over again. Have you ever wondered why we do this? And more importantly, how do we stop doing it, how do we stop "digging"? And how do we get out? As I've studied and searched over the years for ways to help people get the changes they want, quickly, gently and effectively, I've stumbled across a poem that seems to capture well the process of change. It's called "An Autobiography in Five Short Chapters." I wish I knew who the author is, I want to thank the person. Let's look at each of these chapters, and what they have to teach us about the process of change. Chapter One - "I walk down the road. There's a big a hole in the road. I don't see it. I fall in. It's not my fault. It's dark and scary. It takes me a long time to get out." We've all had the experience of winding up in a hole and wondering how we got there. It seems like we were minding our own business, and all of a sudden we wind up in a situation we never intended. Or as Jimmy Buffet once sang, "......trying to figure out how I ever got here." Chapter Two - "I walk down the road. There's a big a hole in the road. I don't see it. I fall in. It's not my fault. It's dark and scary. It takes me less time to get out." Here we go again. If the first time came as a surprise, this is getting to be a habit, or a pattern. Denial and blame tend to show up at this point in the game. Denial says "what do you mean, what's my part?" Blame says "someone else did this to me, and just wait until I find them!" At this point we are still digging the hole, and are just not aware of it yet. This is where the rut begins. It's important to remember that "the only difference between a rut and a grave are the dimensions." Chapter Three - "I walk down the road. There's a big a hole in the road. I see it. I fall in anyway. Maybe I've got something to do with this. It's dark and scary. I get out." Don'tcha just hate it when you know better, you even know you know better, and yet you wind up in the same place again. Here's when change can begin to occur, because we begin to see our part in the problem. Good questions to ask are - What's my part in this? What am I willing to do to change this? What am I willing to stop doing to change this? It's also important to remember my favorite definition of stuck is "when we keep doing the same things over and over again and expect different results." Chapter 4 - "I walk down the road. There's a big a hole in the road. I see it. I walk around it." Good job! You're starting to pay attention, and make progress. Here's the not so good news. It's not enough. "What do you mean, it's not enough? Didn't I stay away from the hole?" Yes, you did. And while that's good, in the words of southern rock group Molly Hatchet, your "flirtin' with disaster." "Why is that?" Because you are still on the same road, and human nature has a curious feature. We tend to forget how bad things were, and we can fall into the trap of checking out the hole "just one more time", just to make sure it was really that bad. Like an alcoholic in a bar or a dieter at an all you can eat buffet, you are flirting with disaster. Chapter Five - "I walk down a different road." While chapters one through four do involve some amount of change, it's still not real change. There's lots of movement and things may even look different, but it's still "change without change." The real change, that is transformation, can go something like this four step process - 1 - you do the same thing again and then realize it afterwards 2 - you do the same thing again and realize it while you are doing it 3 - you realize you are about to do the same thing before you do it, and do something different 4 - you automatically do something different The beauty of "walking down a different road" is that transformation has taken place. Not only do you no longer fall in the old holes, you find that you don't even want to. They no longer hold any interest or attraction for you. Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.
MORE RESOURCES:
Stress-Management - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Stress Management: The Power of a Day I learned a valuable lesson recently. A short while ago, my mentor coach made this powerful request of me. Over 35 Ways of Controlling Stress: Absolutely Necessary to Control Smoking and Weight! * Play Romane's stress control seminar recordings, and read "The Wellness Journey". * Use deep breathing exercises. 7 Tips to Relieve Stress At Work Do you feel stress at work? Do you carry your stress home with you at night?Here are some tips that will help you achieve success over stress. You can reduce stress on the job. Inner Space Every woman needs her own personal space for relaxation, not only to release us from the stress cycle but also to restore us so that we can reassume our responsibilities calmly and with deepened insight.Try and make time everyday for at least half an hour to recharge your batteries. Children Playing - How Play Is Important To Kids And Adults You can learn a lot by watching children playing. There is no greater sight than to see children pretending to be superheroes or digging for treasure in a sandbox. Myth Busting: What Causes Mental Breakdown? I came out of a nightmare 5-year period of anxiety and depression and I did it without taking any drugs. What frustrated me is that despite advances in understanding as to why people become stressed, depressed and anxious, sufferers are still told numerous myths about what causes their illness. The 3 Rs of Taking a Vacation Without Leaving Home This summer, get away, without going away. Take a mini vacation right in your own home. One Way to Beat Stress: Arrive Early! I'm so excited that I have discovered this secret today. It's something that I promise will reduce the stress level in your lives. Emotional Freedom - At YOUR Fingertips! What would you say if I told you I know of a simple method that can make emotional stress such as upset, anger, fear, concern and distress simply melt away in a few minutes and all you had to do to achieve this is simply touch a few "magical points" on your face and hands?Yes, it's true, it can be done, and you can learn to do how in a few minutes, for free, if you're interested.I am delighted to introduce to the most important innovation in self help and psychology this millenium has seen so far - Emotional Freedom Techniques or EFT for short. Manage Stress and Fear: Visit The Secret Garden! Recently I completed some new workshop engagements in addition to my coaching and week-long programs. I am very grateful for the opportunity to stretch and learn but am also acutely aware of the stress I am feeling taking on this new work. Three Tips for Forgiveness: A Key Factor in Anger Management Elizabeth, 32, cried during anger management class as she told how one year ago - her 19-month-old girl was permanently brain-damaged as the result of a medical error at the hospital in which she was delivered.Elizabeth had a legitimate grievance toward the hospital and medical staff, and felt that she could never forgive them for what she saw as their incompetence. Minimize Stress in Your Life Use these simple tips to minimize stress in your day to day living.Lower your expectations and you will suffer less disappointment. Chewing On Mindfulness: Gum Is Your Secret My grandmother, a feisty and athletic woman in her younger years, was a gum-chewer. She was never without a pack or two of Wrigley's Doublemint gum. Minimizing Stress Understanding StressStress has been called "the invisible disease". It is a disease that may affect you, your organization, and any of the people in it, so you cannot afford to ignore it. Stress in the Workplace Why are you so busy? Do you really have too much work? Is work so important to you that you'll sacrifice just about anything in your life to get the job done? Even if it's at the expense of your health and your relationships? Stress in the workplace can be caused by many factors, however from my experience I've found for many people it is their inability to organise themselves and their time. They also have difficulty saying 'no'. Stress is a Killer?Will it get YOU? What good is Personal or Business Success.. Stress Managment and Mastery: 7 Ways to Take Yourself Off Restriction Q. So many times in my life, I seem to hold myself back from what I want to do. Permission to Play At what age does the benefit of play cease? Child development experts agree that play is very important in the learning and emotional development of all children. But do we ever grow out of a need for play? I answer with an emphatic no. Stressed? Go on a Quick Getaway Did you know that taking a short trip, such as over President's Day weekend, or anytime, can have the same stress-reducing effects as a longer one? According to a Stanford University psychiatrist, David Spiegel, our minds shift into a more relaxed state during the first few days of a trip. When we have been away from home for long trips we tend to slightly increase our stress, or dread, coming back to home or work. Through Stress Comes Kindness In these times when companies are constantly down-sizing and right-sizing there is always a lot of stress. The stress comes first from the rumors that it may happen, then the actual doomsday when it happens, and then the aftermath of finding out how the company is going to operate.
|
| home | site map |
| © 2006 |
